What if your “money mindset” isn’t the problem?

I was recently in an online coach’s forum and read a disturbing exchange. I bet you’ve heard some variation of it too.

It goes like this. The person posting had a request from a previous coaching client for a one-time meeting.

Now you’ve probably heard the dogma – coaches don’t exchange time for dollars! We exchange value for dollars. Therefore, no one-time meetings. Okay, I understand that approach. But wait.


When encouraged to charge a premium for a one-time session, the person posting said that if she charged for one session what she charged for a package, it would come to over $500 per hour.

Most of the people on the forum replied ‘Yes, go for it!’ etc. etc. They suggested she let the client know that this would be a special favor.

(I’m not going to go into why, to me, it seems incredibly misguided to treat a former client that way! Maybe I’ll save that for another post.)

But that’s not the end. Another person (let’s call her Person 2) came on and said she wished she had the courage to charge those kinds of fees ($500/hour) and how she wanted to improve her “mindset” and remove “money blocks” so that she could.

Here’s what really interested me at this point. I know Person 2 to be a very environmentally and socially-conscious woman who truly has a kind heart and wants to do good things with her business and her life. Yet she was okay with the idea of charging what I would call an exploitive amount for a former client to see her. Mind you, former clients are the very people who have supported our coaching practices in the past!

So, yes, in my book charging a former client $500/hour for what I call a “tune-up” appointment is exploitive. (Those of you who have followed my writing and understand how our economic system works will fully understand why. For an explanation, click HERE. And for a wonderful exposition on questionable online practices, see this post.)

Here’s the point of this post: I believe the mindset of Person 2 to be perfectly fine. Her instinct, her intuition, is right.

To charge whatever the “market” will bear for services that were once feely given in our communities is not what is going to make a better world. (It might be better for you in the short term, but it’s not sustainable over time, and probably isn’t in the best interest of your client.) Again, I won’t go into all the reasons here, but you can click HERE for more information.

file000324750683I believe that many women intuitively “get” that there is something very wrong with our current money system. And that’s probably why so many of us struggle in it, or want nothing to do with it. On some deep level we know that our current way of doing money is destructive and soul-crushing.

Just to be clear here, I’m not opposed to women making good money or to being compensated equally as well as men. What I’m saying is that the way we do money in our society is not healthy, and that many of us know this on an intuitive level.

So the next time you think you need to adjust your “money mindset” I suggest you pause for a moment and ask a few questions. Is there something “off” about what is going on, rather than about your mindset? What is your gut trying to tell you here? If money were no object, what would be the right thing to do, according to your sense of ethics and morals? Is it possible you’re blaming yourself for what is actually a societal issue?

Until we start questioning the story of money that we’re immersed in, we won’t be able to change the world in the ways we want to. I invite you to stop questioning yourself, and get curious about the story of money, and all it has to teach us about the changes needed to make a more beautiful world.